Music Playlist - Songs from Your Funeral - For Whom the Bell Tolls #Metallica #SerialVegas #Vegas7/15/2014
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BIRTHDAY CAKE I woke that morning filled with an emotion I didn’t recognize. Hope. I didn’t know if any of my plans came to pass or if it all blew up in spectacular failure, but I felt hope. I didn’t want to get out of bed. What if father lived? I wanted to extend those glorious moments of the possibility he was dead. I pleaded with Ray in my mind as if he were god, begging for it to be done. The sun pressed humidity through the window, stabbing my eyes and forcing me to roll onto my side. I tried to hold onto to the image of Ray’s face, but I heard steps in the hallway. Panic slid down my legs as the clicking receded toward the kitchen. A dish crashed in the sink and I put a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. Fear kept me pinned to the bed wearing only a tee-shirt, my limbs useless to move. Pots rattled and the fridge door slammed, killing the last shred of hope anyone except father made the noises. Thoughts of the cake Ray made for my birthday cut through the fear and I realized it was the only thing to eat in the house. Rage propelled me from the bed and I knew before I entered the kitchen what I would find. My foot slipped on spilled beer and I slid on the linoleum, my eyes taking in a panoramic snapshot of father drunkenly feeding on my birthday cake. Digging my fingers into the doorframe to stop my momentum, I launched myself towards the table and took the chef knife he used to cut the cake in my hands. His eyes, weary red and angry, locked with mine. “What are you going to do with that knife?” he slurred at me. Instead of an answer I jammed the blade into his neck. His rose from the chair, blood spurting from the wound onto the cake and charged me, which caught me by surprise and sent me to the floor. I couldn’t believe he was attacking me with a knife sticking from his neck. He collapsed on me, fingers squeezing my windpipe. I’m not going to die at the hands of my father. This thought repeated like a drum beat in my mind. I fought and managed to get his fingers from my neck. He swayed, weak from blood loss with a further attempt to grab me ending with me snapping his index finger. He screamed, which caused the blood flow to increase and allowed me to pull the blade out. I rammed the blade into his neck again and again until the strength left his arms and he rolled off my body, dead before he hit the floor. And it seems this song was written just for me. Come on boys...come get some cake. THE PARTY I George enters my dressing room and takes a position near the mirror. I continue applying my make-up while he reads a series of notices informing me of party preparations.
"The beach party has begun on time, but the prospect of a late thunderstorm means we should move dinner service to an earlier hour. In the gardens, some ride horses under the misters. I can assure you the horses are in no danger, the roof remains closed." I stand and stretch, scanning the room for my robe to find George holding it out to me. Truly he is the only man I've ever been naked in front of that doesn't seem to notice. Always the perfect gentleman. Sliding my arms into the robe, I enjoy the feeling of the silk against my skin. "Tell me about the poker game," I say, eyeing the dress I will wear at dinner, a pink ball gown with white lace. "The usual local pros are taking money from the local fish. All as it should be. Is there anything I should watch?" "Be sure Marcus doesn't lose too much money. He is sour when he loses at poker." George nods and exits, leaving me with a fresh bowl of marijuana. Taking a deep hit, I let my mind drift into thoughts of dinner. What will my guests think of the special entertainment? my birthday will always and forever be about my father. and today is a special one. it's been ten years. ten years ago today I ended my father's life. he'll never rape again. he'll never ruin another life. i just regret i could only kill him the one time. in my dreams i kill him again and again and again until the blood soaks the morning sky when i wake. so I offer you this song, father. Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well, I've been afraid of changing 'Cause I've built my life around you DEATH IN THE MORNING Tapping the microphone, I smile when I hear the cracking coming from the speakers near the bed. It's alive. After months of pushing George, my room is now wired for music and recording, all of it automated. "You see, sir. It's much better, I can sing to you," I say, speaking to the man tied to the bed. "Now do be a good sport and tell me what song you want me to play as you exit this world." Silence greets me and I shrug. No matter. I'm picking the music either way. Grabbing the remote George instructed me on how to use, I tap the selection I made ready and wait for the music to begin. With the first chord, I start singing. Saul enters and stops near the bed, looking back and forth between the man and me. His lips move, but I can't hear him over the madness - the music blares so loud I can't hear myself sing. Taking a step closer to me, Saul places a hand on my arm and locks eyes as if somehow that will make me stop. Singing to him, I hold the stare while I scream the lyrics. ...every now and then I fall apart and I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever ...a total eclipse of the heart When the song ends, Saul breaks into mock clapping, shaking his head in a way to let me know his disappointment. "What a complete mess," he says with sudden anger. "You don't like my singing," I ask, smiling. Such a critic. "Goddamn it, Ella, I'm not talking about your singing. I'm referring to the dead guy on the bed." Turning from Saul, I look at the man on the bed. His body is pock-marked with stab wounds and my sheets are tie-dyed blood red. I agree with Saul's assessment. Most likely he is dead. "You have nothing to say?" he screams. With a sigh, I tap the recording to begin the song again. I need the practice. "Yes. I need new sheets." "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming round (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit tired Of listening to the sound of my tears (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit nervous That the best of all the years have gone by (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified And then I see the look in your eyes (Turn Around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart (Turn Around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit restless And I dream of something wild (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit helpless And I'm lying like a child in your arms (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit angry And I know I've got to get out and cry (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified But then I see the look in your eyes (Turn Around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart Turn around, bright eyes Every now and then I fall apart And I need you now tonight And I need you more than ever And if you only hold me tight We'll be holding on forever And we'll only be making it right 'Cause we'll never be wrong Together we can take it to the end of the line Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (All of the time) I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks I really need you tonight Forever's gonna start tonight (Forever's gonna start tonight) Once upon a time I was falling in love But now I'm only falling apart There's nothing I can do A total eclipse of the heart Once upon a time there was light in my life But now there's only love in the dark Nothing I can say A total eclipse of the heart [Instrumental Interlude] (Turn Around, bright eyes) (Turn Around, bright eyes) (Turn around) Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy You always wanted to be (Turn around) But every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy Who wanted me the way that I am (Turn around) Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe As magical and wondrous as you (Turn around) Every now and then I know there's nothing any better There's nothing that I just wouldn't do (Turn Around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart (Turn Around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart Post by Ella Thomas. It's a Vegas party, which means no plans. All day, all night - until the fun really begins...and day greets those still raging...
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