A NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY
I can't think or form a coherent thought. The anticipation of this night throbs in my veins, louder than even the dance music playing in my dressing room as I get ready for the party. A New Year's Eve Party, Vegas style - at Holden Farms. I want to put on a show that the locals and guests will never forget. And, a special surprise that none knows about - there will be a trial.
Closing my eyes, I remain still for the rest of the song. I will not rush. I will enjoy the special play-mix George made for me. Muse - Undisclosed Desires. This song evokes Ray and I can't help smiling. Will I see him tonight? Is it even possible? You ask what I want to happen at midnight? I want Ray to kiss me at the ball.
The smile leaves as the song changes. Korn - Get Up. In a moment the anger is there, right below my skin. Like an old friend.
Closing my eyes, I remain still for the rest of the song. I will not rush. I will enjoy the special play-mix George made for me. Muse - Undisclosed Desires. This song evokes Ray and I can't help smiling. Will I see him tonight? Is it even possible? You ask what I want to happen at midnight? I want Ray to kiss me at the ball.
The smile leaves as the song changes. Korn - Get Up. In a moment the anger is there, right below my skin. Like an old friend.
I, I am clearly broken and no one knows what to do
Pieces of the puzzle don't fit, so, I pound them into you
Itching is the pulse inside
Creeping out to come alive
It's just doing what it's gonna do
Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It's hard to draw the line
Pieces of the puzzle don't fit, so, I pound them into you
Itching is the pulse inside
Creeping out to come alive
It's just doing what it's gonna do
Times are looking grim these days
Holding on to everything
It's hard to draw the line
I begin to apply my make-up and let the song dig inside me. Times are looking grim these days. The words echo in my dressing room as memories of the year run in my mind.
So much of nothing has changed for me this year. Did I make any progress as a writer? I have reached the age of 23 and have written one novel and fragments of many others that I seem not to be able to bring under control. I can't get my mind off my crazed personal life for long enough to concentrate. The money and the parties and the killing...
And yes, the killing occupies my time. I dream of the blood of rapists. It drips down the walls of my brain, seeping into all the areas of my life. I can't think of anything for very long before the blood intrudes, cleansing me of all distractions. Tonight will be no different. There will be a trial. The man that I hold prisoner will face justice...
The land-line phone in my room, a line reserved for George alone, buzzes and I click off the stereo. Why would he disturb me in my dressing room? Picking up the phone, I hear him yelling, something he never does. It takes me a moment to understand his words over the volume of his voice.
"Your prisoner has escaped into the mansion."
I do not answer and instead tap a button on my phone, which activates a panel and reveals a wall of security cameras. I can see my prisoner running into the abandoned wing of the mansion. He's heading towards the rooms reserved for Ray. This angers me more than his escape. I scan the room for a weapon when my eyes locate Saul.
Without a word, he extends a Glock 9mm to me and motions towards the door.
So much of nothing has changed for me this year. Did I make any progress as a writer? I have reached the age of 23 and have written one novel and fragments of many others that I seem not to be able to bring under control. I can't get my mind off my crazed personal life for long enough to concentrate. The money and the parties and the killing...
And yes, the killing occupies my time. I dream of the blood of rapists. It drips down the walls of my brain, seeping into all the areas of my life. I can't think of anything for very long before the blood intrudes, cleansing me of all distractions. Tonight will be no different. There will be a trial. The man that I hold prisoner will face justice...
The land-line phone in my room, a line reserved for George alone, buzzes and I click off the stereo. Why would he disturb me in my dressing room? Picking up the phone, I hear him yelling, something he never does. It takes me a moment to understand his words over the volume of his voice.
"Your prisoner has escaped into the mansion."
I do not answer and instead tap a button on my phone, which activates a panel and reveals a wall of security cameras. I can see my prisoner running into the abandoned wing of the mansion. He's heading towards the rooms reserved for Ray. This angers me more than his escape. I scan the room for a weapon when my eyes locate Saul.
Without a word, he extends a Glock 9mm to me and motions towards the door.
