in the bedroom
It never happened. To all those that believe in god, lowercase g, where was he/she/it when my father tormented me deep into the hours of night. Father and his demands, desires, and weakness for booze with no god to stop him. It just went on and on until...
Fingernails grip into my breasts and I yelp with surprise and pain. Staccato grunts in my ears, Charles twitches against my body and I growl while he spasms. Waking from nightmares of father to this boy's constant want of me will ruin my day, I can feel it now.
I wait for his manic grip to ease before extricating myself from his arms. Grabbing the cigarettes from the night stand, I light one and swing my legs onto the floor.
"Are you trying to get me pregnant?"
Taking a deep drag to settle my nerves, I press my thumb to activate my phone and scroll through the missed calls, text messages, and emails.
"You said I could..." he begins.
"One time, the first time. If you get me pregnant my husband will hang you. I'm not joking."
I offer him a cigarette and watch him jump from the bed, taking puffs and pacing on the plush area carpet.
"He said he was okay with us, with everything..."
"Ray also threw his father down the stairs, best be careful how much you rely on your judgment of him. You know nothing, young man."
Crushing my cigarette in the ashtray, I get out of bed and enter the bathroom. I spin the shower nozzle to start the water and press my face against the porcelain, letting the heat steam the hangover building in my forehead. The glass door closes and Charles places a hand on my shoulder, pulling himself close to me.
"Just shut up about it, I'm trying to think," I say, shrugging him off me.
"We've been together for weeks now..."
Spinning, I place my hand on his lips to silence him. Water blurs his features, making him look even younger than his age. It reminds me how much of a boy he is compared to Ray.
"It's been over a month and you haven't learned when to shut your mouth yet." Removing my hand, I close my eyes and face the wall once more. His arms wrap around my waist and I don't stop him. Images of father attempt to rise in my mind and I grit my teeth, trying to banish the apparition.
"You were screaming in your sleep."
Reaching behind me, I stroke him until stiffness fills my palm. "I don't want to talk about that right now. Please help me forget."