"I don't know about you, but I don't spend much of my life feeling vulnerable. I've come to learn that women spend most of their social lives with ever-present, unavoidable feelings of vulnerability. Stop and think about that. Imagine always feeling like you could be at risk, like you were living with glass skin."
I viewed this on my Facebook page and decided to give this rather lengthy article a read. I'll say that up front - this article isn't short. There are several important linking articles you must peruse to fully understand the content, making the article even longer yet.
That said, the article impressed me. It covered rape culture from a unique perspective, of a man searching for deeper understanding of what women experience. The author mentions his changed behavior in public towards women:
That said, the article impressed me. It covered rape culture from a unique perspective, of a man searching for deeper understanding of what women experience. The author mentions his changed behavior in public towards women:
When I cross a parking lot at night and see a woman ahead of me, I do whatever I feel is appropriate to make her aware of me so that a) I don't startle her b) she has time to make herself feel safe/comfortable and c) if it's possible, I can approach in a way that's clearly friendly, in order to let her know I'm not a threat. I do this because I'm a man.
Basically, I acknowledge every woman I meet on the street, or in an elevator, or in a stairway, or wherever, in a way that indicates she's safe. I want her to feel just as comfortable as if I weren't there. I accept that any woman I encounter in public doesn't know me, and thus, all she sees is a man -- one who is suddenly near her. I have to keep in mind her sense of space and that my presence might make her feel vulnerable. That's the key factor -- vulnerability.
How many men are aware that women experience these feelings on a regular basis in public and have these concerns about their safety? The routine detailed above illustrates how perspective can change behavior.
The best of the article is the author's desire to change his own thinking about rape culture and in general towards women.
Towards the end of the article, the author offers suggestions to help break the cycle of violence. This is the point I found the most compelling.
The best of the article is the author's desire to change his own thinking about rape culture and in general towards women.
Towards the end of the article, the author offers suggestions to help break the cycle of violence. This is the point I found the most compelling.
1. Men can confront men.
No one is suggesting violence. In fact, that's what we're looking to avoid. But sometimes, a man needs to confront another man or a group of men in a situation. When I'm out in public and I see a man hassling a woman, I stop for a moment. I make sure the woman sees me. I want her to know I'm fully aware of what's happening. I wait for a moment for a clear indication from her of whether she needs help. Sometimes, the couple will continue right on fighting like I'm just a hickory tree. Other times, the woman will make it clear she'd like backup and I approach the situation. I've never had to get violent. Usually, my presence alone makes the guy leave if he's a stranger, or explain himself if they're familiar. It changes the dynamic. That's why I always stop when I see a woman getting hassled in public. For any reason. I make sure any woman, in what could become a violent situation, one I may or may not be correctly assessing, feels that she has the opportunity to signal to me if she needs assistance. I'm a big brother to a sister so that response is practically instinctual.
In conclusion, I think men should read this article by Zaron Burnett. Click the link below.
Post by HuffPost Women.
